favrot—the t is silent.

jeremy

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:25:00 +0000

the fisher family

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:00:00 +0000

commit for life

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:11:00 +0000

my father holding a crawfish he "saved" from a crawfish boil out front of his local randalls grocery

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Tue, 26 May 2009 00:28:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Tue, 26 May 2009 00:24:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 20:39:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 02:28:00 +0000

lost in dc

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:10:00 +0000

dc

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:40:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:32:00 +0000

I guess you never know how much time you have with another human being. It’s 6 am, a time my jobless ass doesn’t see very often but I woke up this morning thinking ants were crawling all over me and I couldn’t get enough air.
I don’t know what to write or how to feel, I guess sad is all. Every decision she made over the last year didn’t seem like a great idea but then I’d think who the fuck am I to tell someone else what’s right for them, right? She knows best for herself and her set of problems. What do I know about depression? I don’t have it, I‘ve been blessed with somewhat normal brain chemistry, what the hell do I know. So I would just nod and say, “ok, yeah, I guess if that’s what you think you need to do”
What makes a person so desperate to take her own life? I take small relief in the fact I know she didn’t suffer, that this is where her suffering ends. I’m grateful it was the police that beat my 3 friends to her apartment because putting the image together in my head is bad enough but seeing it first hand would have haunted them forever.
What should I do with the photographs? Should I get rid of them or give them to the family? I always meant to reshoot her, I thought I didn’t get her right. After I told her I wanted to do it again but this time her all dolled up, she kinda laughed and rolled her eyes but was willing. I didn’t want to show her the photographs, as if they would show someone she already didn’t know she was. I never got around to the second shoot, I mostly didn’t want to bug her or put her in a position where she had to fret about the way she looked. The pictures are taken a year and a half before now and I can see the depression digging its heels in. I think back to all the decisions and I can see her go, piece by piece while the depression came in and finally took over. It’s not her who killed herself, it’s that god dame disease. She was so fiery, so beautiful and young. Fierce when she wanted to be, quick to say fuck off to people that pissed her off. She was strikingly gorgeous – one of those woman that could make a room stand still.
Her self-hatred was so intense, I never new what to do with it. We would set after yoga class and eat noodles and she would start in on herself and it made me so uncomfortable I wanted to jump up and run out of the restaurant. I tried “your not fat,” “you don’t have lines around your mouth,” “thanks for the complement and you know, you have nice skin too.” “Are you crazy?” I’d often say in response to some of her comments about herself. She’d look at me, give a half smile and say “well… yeah.” I’d laugh. Its weird how we take each other for granted, I always appreciated her presence in my community, she was so rock gut honest.
I’m devastated that my friend is dead but I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore, that she doesn’t have to fight day in and day out with her brain, it looked so painful and there was nothing I could do. There was nothing different I could’ve done or anyone could’ve done to prevent this, right? To get back to sleep I have to believe this whether it’s true or not. I miss you already lady, I’m sorry it turned out this way and I hope you have found some peace. All my love.

Alec Soth in conversation with Doug DuBois

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:00:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:04:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:41:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:30:00 +0000

houston tx

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 02:53:00 +0000

back to the family project started in 04? 05? i want you to know that the film is still unprocessed, this is some crap digital quick shots. i don't know, i feel like i'm shooting all crap. i'd say i'm to tired to care but thats untrue and why i'm still awake blogging instead of zoning out to dads cable.

fyi

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 07:43:00 +0000

i strongly encourage you to drop by fraenkel gallery and pick up Katy Grannan's new book The Westerns.

vaca

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 07:33:00 +0000

y.l.

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:31:00 +0000

s and b

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:23:00 +0000

b.a.h 2

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:21:00 +0000

b.a.h

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:47:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Thu, 01 May 2008 04:57:00 +0000

I drive down a street and pull over to check my map. I grew up a couple miles away but I'm turned around and everything looks the same. I fold out my map and try to recall any visual markers that might help me get back to my planned wandering around Orange County. I'd ask a passerby if there was one, anyone. I'm on a deserted street much like all the others and I start to feel like I'm the only person alive in this county.

bruce

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:01:00 +0000

I saw bruce a couple saturdays ago and then flew down to so cal to see him again with my mom. She had a great time and so did I. He is amazing live and if you ever get the chance you should take it.
I am continually inspired by his dedication to his art and his perseverance for perfection. His ability to keep in touch with the glory of ordinary everyday life, his honesty and truth in his lyrics is remarkable. I am inspired by his true patriotism and deep concern for this country and its future. He's not bitter but upset and angry and i appreciate the difference. He fights, sings and sweats for the common man, the people we here in the bay area are completely out of touch with, forgotten about, discarded because they don't share our style or eduction or view point. These people, that make up most of this country, are the folks bruce sings about. And because everyone knows to some degree what it means to do the right thing but not always be in love with the results, to do it all the best that you can but still come up short, bruce asks us to carry on anyway and know that we are never alone.

cacti

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:19:00 +0000

orange county, ca

noreply@blogger.com (caroline favrot lee) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:38:00 +0000