favrot—the t is silent.

land and sea

2011-05-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

tumbleweed

2011-03-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

a critique of a fellow photographers work/image

2011-03-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

You zapped all the life out of it. Post work is great for ad stuff but unless your work is commenting on the use of the technology it is very sticky to use it where it has no place. You have to start trusting your images. Photography at its base, the foundation is recording whats real, it has to do/show truth - that truth is blurred and stripped with all this post work. I'm not a hater but I've seen so many images lately that are awesome and then are ruined by post - stripped and cleaned of character, of what is mysterious in the truth of real life. I can't come back to these images again and again because they are only a one hit wonder - the levels of interest have been decimated or "cleaned up" as they call it.

This moment was very special

2011-03-16T16:34:00.001-07:00

A night out

2011-03-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

2010-05-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

2010-02-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

i am interested in wealth but really how people organize their lives with wealth. organize by choice not necessity. poor people organize out of necessity. i'm not interested in the poor. i exploit my own kind.

pep talk

2010-01-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

A text message on 1/19/10 4:19pm, continued via email.

ME: Do you think making art is really that important?

YVONNE: Yes, i think art is more important than looking at/appreciating art sometimes. LOTS more to say about this though . . . What prompted this?

ME: Larry Sultan's Memorial service - he was so convinced that art making was so damn important- it seems it was the only thing he was sure of- he questioned everything else obsessively - I was always in awe of this stake in the ground, this bedrock of faith. I often would sit in his class and wish I could feel as committed to making art, that I could Believe like he believed. I wish I could have the same faith in art making. I think maybe one human is only allowed so many strong convictions - maybe we only get one a lifetime and I have mine and he had his. Maybe that's just silly ... I can't tell at all -
He said, days before he died that his life was important, he was lucky because he was able to touch culture, grazing it light like a feather and creating ripples well beyond his lifetime which had nothing to do w/ fame.

You think that's true? I hope so - he was so awesome, I'm really sad he's gone.

YVONNE: never heard him speak about making art but to hear you talk about what you absorbed from his classes makes me excited to hear what he thought about it. i'd love to hear more, both what he thought and what you got from it. As for faith in what we do, i feel like that's a little different from why i think making art is important. definition of faith is a belief not based on 100% definitive proof, no? it's more like a hypothesis, that is, a guess based on certain information received. whole point is to get closer to what is true, hypotheses and faiths can be abandoned when and if appropriate.

maybe he had proof. that making art (for him?) was certainly and without a doubt important. sounds like it.

also, i don't think we get one conviction a lifetime. hope not. hope i get many that continue to be revised as i get closer to things as they really are.

wanna talk more about this. miss you. think it's awesome you're discussing this. reminds me why i think you're dope. one of many reasons.

hugs to you,
yvonne

jeremy

2009-11-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

the fisher family

2009-08-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

commit for life

2009-06-13T16:11:00.001-07:00

my father holding a crawfish he "saved" from a crawfish boil out front of his local randalls grocery

2009-05-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

2009-05-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

2009-04-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

2009-03-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

lost in dc

2009-01-26T15:10:00.001-08:00

dc

2009-01-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

2009-01-01T23:32:00.001-08:00

I guess you never know how much time you have with another human being. It’s 6 am, a time my jobless ass doesn’t see very often but I woke up this morning thinking ants were crawling all over me and I couldn’t get enough air.
I don’t know what to write or how to feel, I guess sad is all. Every decision she made over the last year didn’t seem like a great idea but then I’d think who the fuck am I to tell someone else what’s right for them, right? She knows best for herself and her set of problems. What do I know about depression? I don’t have it, I‘ve been blessed with somewhat normal brain chemistry, what the hell do I know. So I would just nod and say, “ok, yeah, I guess if that’s what you think you need to do”
What makes a person so desperate to take her own life? I take small relief in the fact I know she didn’t suffer, that this is where her suffering ends. I’m grateful it was the police that beat my 3 friends to her apartment because putting the image together in my head is bad enough but seeing it first hand would have haunted them forever.
What should I do with the photographs? Should I get rid of them or give them to the family? I always meant to reshoot her, I thought I didn’t get her right. After I told her I wanted to do it again but this time her all dolled up, she kinda laughed and rolled her eyes but was willing. I didn’t want to show her the photographs, as if they would show someone she already didn’t know she was. I never got around to the second shoot, I mostly didn’t want to bug her or put her in a position where she had to fret about the way she looked. The pictures are taken a year and a half before now and I can see the depression digging its heels in. I think back to all the decisions and I can see her go, piece by piece while the depression came in and finally took over. It’s not her who killed herself, it’s that god damn disease. She was so fiery, so beautiful and young. Fierce when she wanted to be, quick to say fuck off to people that pissed her off. She was strikingly gorgeous – one of those women that could make a room stand still.
Her self-hatred was so intense, I never new what to do with it. We would sit after yoga class and eat noodles and she would start in on herself and it made me so uncomfortable I wanted to jump up and run out of the restaurant. I tried “your not fat,” “you don’t have lines around your mouth,” “thanks for the complement and you know, you have nice skin too.” “Are you crazy?” I’d often say in response to some of her comments about herself. She’d look at me, give a half smile and say “well… yeah.” I’d laugh. Its weird how we take each other for granted, I always appreciated her presence in my community, she was so rock gut honest.
I’m devastated that my friend is dead but I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore, that she doesn’t have to fight day in and day out with her brain, it looked so painful and there was nothing I could do. There was nothing different I could’ve done or anyone could’ve done to prevent this, right? To get back to sleep I have to believe this whether it’s true or not. I miss you already lady, I’m sorry it turned out this way and I hope you have found some peace. All my love.

Alec Soth in conversation with Doug DuBois

2008-12-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

2008-11-11T13:04:00.000-08:00

2008-09-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

2008-09-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

houston tx

2008-08-23T19:53:00.001-07:00

back to the family project started in 04? 05? i want you to know that the film is still unprocessed, this is some crap digital quick shots. i don't know, i feel like i'm shooting all crap. i'd say i'm to tired to care but thats untrue and why i'm still awake blogging instead of zoning out to dads cable.

fyi

2008-08-16T00:43:00.000-07:00

i strongly encourage you to drop by fraenkel gallery and pick up Katy Grannan's new book The Westerns.

vaca

2008-08-16T00:33:00.000-07:00

y.l.

2008-06-25T19:31:00.001-07:00

s and b

2008-06-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

b.a.h 2

2008-06-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

b.a.h

2008-06-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

2008-04-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

I drive down a street and pull over to check my map. I grew up a couple miles away but I'm turned around and everything looks the same. I fold out my map and try to recall any visual markers that might help me get back to my planned wandering around Orange County. I'd ask a passerby if there was one, anyone. I'm on a deserted street much like all the others and I start to feel like I'm the only person alive in this county.

bruce

2008-04-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

I saw bruce a couple saturdays ago and then flew down to so cal to see him again with my mom. She had a great time and so did I. He is amazing live and if you ever get the chance you should take it.
I am continually inspired by his dedication to his art and his perseverance for perfection. His ability to keep in touch with the glory of ordinary everyday life, his honesty and truth in his lyrics is remarkable. I am inspired by his true patriotism and deep concern for this country and its future. He's not bitter but upset and angry and i appreciate the difference. He fights, sings and sweats for the common man, the people we here in the bay area are completely out of touch with, forgotten about, discarded because they don't share our style or eduction or view point. These people, that make up most of this country, are the folks bruce sings about. And because everyone knows to some degree what it means to do the right thing but not always be in love with the results, to do it all the best that you can but still come up short, bruce asks us to carry on anyway and know that we are never alone.

cacti

2008-04-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

orange county, ca

2008-03-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

2008-03-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

2008-03-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

broken, oakland, ca

2008-03-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

k.r.

2008-02-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

marian mueller

2008-02-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.mariannemueller.ch/index.html

d.k.

2008-02-22T17:27:00.001-08:00

david's bridal

2008-01-30T12:51:00.001-08:00

recent

2008-01-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

2008-01-11T22:25:00.001-08:00

balco, the dog.

feel'n it (trying at least)

2008-01-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

I love these guys below. They put everything they got into this and make 4 minutes of greatness- they are all in, you can see it, you can feel it. Since I discovered this clip I've been watching it every morning. It reminds me not to be so scared of what I truly care about.
I love and hate art. Mostly I hate it. But when an artist seeks. A search where they forget themselves and dive in and give the art all they have to give, this stuff I love.
I try to do this myself but have fallen way short. The last thing I felt good about was my thesis project two years ago. I gave the project everything I had to give. I made mistakes but it was amazing. Maybe the art sucked, I don't know, I just did it. I had a vision of what I wanted and I went for it, I think my teachers thought I was nuts. When I had my opening I knew what these musicians felt. The most satisfying air I've breathed yet.
I don't miss school but I miss the professors, Michael Roth, Larry Sultan, Tammy Rae Carland, Sue Ciriclio, Chris Johnson, Goldberg, Abner Nolan, Todd Hido, John Wilkins. These people who have dedicated their lives to art, knowledge, searching and sharing it with others. This kind of energy. This I miss. Making it up myself is just really hard.

because they feel it, especially the drummer

2008-01-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

2007-12-21T10:37:00.001-08:00

2007-12-05T22:15:00.001-08:00

what i really really want.

2007-12-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

if i could do exactly what i wanted with my life i would...
- coach volleyball to kids, any ages ranging 9 through college age (only junior varsity if college)
- teach photography to students at a local high school
- be pregnant, a boy please or a hardheaded girl please.
- hang out in my studio and think about art, make photographic sculptures and installations
- take pictures with my students on the weekends (that high school also has a photo club)
- meet my artsy friends at cole coffee at 9 or 10 on the weekends and chat about the latest happenings
- buy a chaise lounge, lounge in it while reading in the afternoon sun drinking hot sweet tea
- get a big cute slobber dog from milo foundation to keep my older dog company

thats it for now. is this to much to ask? in the past 6 months i have had a couple of well paying freelance gigs working for photographers as an assistant of some sort, i didn't make a ton but enough to get a taste of what the money making life could be. i bought boots, on sale of course but they were over a hundred bucks, i love these things, i would have never spent that before - the ability to just walk in a store and buy what i want and not having to adjust my next months budget was kind of amazing. i've always had enough money, i would never call myself poor but to have money in the bank, savings, enough where you spend and don't really stress about it, pretty cool feeling. A feeling i find myself going crazy for now, trying to chase it down. the obvious choice for my lack of skills in anything but photography and pricey art education would to become a professional photographer and with that comes lots of work, luck, work and more luck, right? (stick talent in there if you want but you are kidding yourself, have you seen all the bad well paid for photos out there)
can i devote so much time and energy to something that makes me cringe a little. i try going on that photo editor blog and sucking it up . . . this blog is my future life, what these people talk about and struggle with, this is it. The problem is every time that blog pisses me off, i mean i want to puke at what some of these professionals are saying but i realized today that they aren't the problem, they aren't all bad, some bad photographers, some great and everything in between - the problem is me. what a bummer. so back to chasing the buck - how much of myself do i have to stuff down in order to get the buck? i think the biz world wants more of me on the shelf than i can muster which means i'm kind of screwed. as my savings dwindle and i prepare to blow the rest of it on a traveling photo project i hope to . . . well, i don't know . . . make art and hope for the best i guess. know any volleyball coachs or photo teachers that need help?

2007-11-18T22:48:00.000-08:00

2007-11-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

if you went to art school or ever took an art class you have received john cages rules. i have many different copies of this. one above my desk. one in my studio which, as of today, is put together for the most part. i think i'll try trusting it awhile.

wtf

2007-11-17T00:29:00.001-08:00

this was as good as it got today. the background was doing something funny with the scanner then there was the shaking - where was the shaking coming from? i told my boyfriend to stop stomping around. locked the cat and dog away. it only leaves me and by that time the yellow flowers had budded up. so i did the only thing left to do. i took it off the scanner and squished it till it was unusable. maybe the squirrel that bit through this plant will strike again.

i looked through every trashcan but i never found it

2007-11-04T10:04:00.001-08:00

2007-10-21T12:08:00.001-07:00

2007-10-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

in the wee wee hours your mind gets hazy,
radio relay towers lead me to my baby
Radio's jammed up with talk show stations
It's just talk, talk, talk till you lose your patience

Mister state trooper please don't stop me

Hey somebody out there, listen to my last prayer
Hi ho silver-0 deliver me from nowhere

-bruce, 1982

a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics

2007-10-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

i want a mouth of water

2007-10-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

---

2007-09-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

2007-08-26T23:10:00.001-07:00

even better and more

2007-08-21T00:19:00.000-07:00

somewhere in the north atlantic

2007-08-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

somewhere around st. louis

2007-07-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

soshia

2007-07-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

landslide

2007-07-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

Show me whats in between your lines.

2007-07-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

so much text and no work - i don't want to talk about the biz of photography and i don't want your fucking advice - if i wanted to know what you thought about the in's and outs of editorial photography i'd email you and ask - stop posting these boring monologues, i'm bored to tears - i don't want to hear about if todd hido blew it or not - we all do, on every fucking contact sheet - it happens, so what! I'd rather hear about your thoughts on your latest work - what, if anything, is going on in that head of yours, photographically and all that relates. Tell me about your failed photographs, the successes you still question, tell me about the projects that went sour, the uncompleted thoughts, the art book you put out that you wish the sequence was better in the end - tell me about the kid photographs that you think might just be stupid and uninteresting, tell me about the gooey monsters you are creating and what type of landscape you think they fit in, tell me about how excited you are to figure out how to strap a 4 by 5 camera and flashs to the back of a truck, talk to me about space and time and memory and theory and how weird it is to dedicate your life to watching the moment pass you by. How is it spending your life standing on the outside, peering in, judging, reevaluating, showing, assessing, capturing, examining. I want to see the first nude shots you took - i want the first pictures of your other - i want to know what matters to you most - give it up - don't fucking hide and cope out behind all this biz talk - stop flowering it up - it's work in the end but you keep going back and i want to know why - Show me whats in between your lines god damn it.

text

2007-07-13T23:03:00.001-07:00

home

2007-07-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

some artists have a style - a thread that weaves through all their work. i can never see mine or maybe i don't want to or maybe i don't have one. i love this image but it does not fit. i put it on a postcard for a group show i helped put together even though i had no intention of showing it. people complained because it was not in the show. i received more props for the postcard than the work i spent a week printing and mounting for the show. i want this one to fit. i want it to have a home.

wtf

2007-06-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

wtf wtf - is this a self indulgent vacuum or art? is all art self indulgent? what is Nas doing right this minute? What is Bruce Springstein doing right now? so, you want good photography - i got the lady for you - sweet struggle. Timothy Archibald will provide the depth.